The Half-Life of Planets by Emily Franklin

Author:Emily Franklin
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Fiction - Young Adult
Publisher: Disney Publishing Worldwide

Mother would probably say I’m out of sorts. I spent the morning with Liana, which of course was nice, or better than nice. Stan was more than happy to give me the day off unexpectedly—I suppose I am a very reliable employee otherwise, and when I told him that I was going to meet a girl, there was a moment of silence before he said, “All right! Go get ’em, Tiger!”

But now I am one day further away from the Jazz-master. It appears that I may have to choose between the girl I love and the guitar I love. Not that I love Liana. I don’t think. I don’t really know what romantic love is. I know how I love Mother, and even Chase, and I know that the way I feel about Liana is different from that, but whether it’s love or not I have no idea. Fortunately, there are enough songs about this—“Why Can’t This Be Love,” “Is This Love That I’m Feeling”, and of course “Is That Love” by Squeeze, the band that always reminds me of Liana’s breasts, not that they are really ever that far from my mind—that I know I’m not alone in my confusion.

In any case, I now find myself with the late afternoon and early evening to myself. Since this is normally Liana time, I don’t know exactly what to do. I try to practice my song for Beachfest, but it just doesn’t feel quite right. I look for an excuse to send Liana a text message, but I really don’t know what to say. I am bored and lonely?

Fortunately, Chase comes to my rescue by staggering down the hall from his room and vomiting copiously into the toilet at four p.m.

Chase just woke up and vomited, I send to Liana. I imagine her reading it and smiling. This makes me think about her mouth. This brings me to my masturbation dilemma.

I recognize this as an irrational fear, but I am afraid if I masturbate while thinking of Liana, she’ll know instantly by looking at me. I imagine most people have a way of hiding this information, and I don’t have access to that technique, and she’ll see my face and think I’m creepy and run away. Which is what most girls do to me, and what Liana does to most guys. According to her.

Similarly, if I masturbate while thinking of someone else—someone, for example from Chase’s rather extensive collection of pornography—I think this will feel like a betrayal; Liana will see on my face that I’m attracted to someone else, even some shiny fantasy woman with a tramp stamp from the Internet, and she’ll run away. Which is what she does. According to her.

It is fair to say that there’s pressure building up that I don’t know how to relieve. I am hoping a nocturnal emission may solve my problem.

Not surprised. He was ’faced this a.m. my phone tells me, and I just want to call her to say Hey, wasn’t

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